I have a problem with this post.
Well, many problems.
Now, if this was a post just getting upset at hearing demisexuals going oh woe is us look we’re just as oppressed as gay people or bi or asexuals or w/e, yes, I could understand being upset.
But it’s not. This is a post filled with entitled arrogance from someone who seems to have the gall to tell people that what they feel doesn’t exist and they should feel wrong for feeling that way.
So you have a beef with demisexuality. Guess what? You don’t get to be an authority on it. You know who does? People who identify with demisexuals. If anyone is whining that they’re part of a group that is so oppressed when they’re clearly not, yeah, you can tell them to sit down and shut up. But if someone says “this is how I feel”, it is a slap in the face to tell them what they feel is dumb and stupid and they should feel bad for feeling that way. It is beyond rude, it is a huge insult, and is incredibly close minded and arrogant.
You don’t get to tell people if their sexuality does or does not exist. If someone feels utterly comfortable under the title of demisexual, then they’re demisexual. If someone is a certain sexuality, then they’re that sexuality.
And you do not have the authority to tell them otherwise. already replied to this post here, but I felt the need to add something on.
I won’t edit my initial post since people have already reblogged it, so here’s the addendum:
Demisexuality is the complete lack of physical or sexual attraction to a person until you have a deep emotional connection with them. It’s not just “I don’t want to have sex with you until I get to know you”, like OP asserted it was (though that is part of it). If the OP had spent their time constructively by actually researching a topic they admitted they know little about instead of deciding to write an insulting, vulgar, and totally uncalled for even-with-their-misunderstanding-of-demisexuality rant, this whole situation could have been avoided.
Guess what? It’s still not a damn sexuality in the same way that homosexuality/pansexuality/asexuality/heterosexuality is, and using that term to imply that somehow it is and belongs in the same breath, is fucking stupid and is my entire problem with the goddamn term “demisexuality!”
If you are offended that I think what you insist is a sexuality all its own is a preference within a sexuality (which is essentially what it is), I really don’t know what to tell you then.
I have no problem with the concept of demisexuality in that people are welcome to have sex (or not have sex) with whatever or whoever they want. If people only want to have sex with people who they feel a deep emotional attachment to, or aren’t attracted at all to people they aren’t deeply emotionally attached to? That’s fine. That is not my personal thing, but if that’s what you’re into, that’s Okay!
The moment you start insisting it counts as a queer identity is the moment I am filled with rage, which is exactly what fucking happens on tumblr. It is not a queer identity, it is a preference.
I am not sure how much more clearly I can express that in this post. Demisexuality in a vacuum - just the “I am not attracted to people I don’t have an emotional bond with” - is fine. The term, the way I see it used, the way people act like they are ~poor and oppressed~ because they’re ~demisexuals in a sexual’s world~ (and the implication that people who are not demisexual are just sluts, which is apparently a Bad Thing To Be?) — those are the problems with demisexuality.
I have no problem with the initial concept of it. The choice of name, the choice of co-opting it as a “queer identity”, a thing it has absolutely no business claiming to be, the slut shaming that frequently (thought not always) comes along with a self-identification of “demisexual” - those are my problems with demisexuality.